Steps to reconnect in your relationship

What makes love last in a relationship? What can a couple do to move closer together in their relationship? There are many theories of relationship, the Gottman's have been researching and studying couple's for over 50 years. They famously have a love lab at a university where they have had couples come and be filmed having conversations. They have filmed a lot of conversations. They have aggregated data from those conversations and inductively reasoned principles that make relationship work over time and conversely principles that lead to fracture in relationship. These principles are evidence based and derived from much study of observation of couples. 

They recently published a book, The Love Prescription Seven Days to more Intimacy, Joy and Connection which encapsulates their research in a weeklong journey. While it can be easy to be hesitant around promises of quick change in long term patterns of relationship - the book details concepts that are worthwhile engaging in. 

The seven day reading and exercises are based on this outline:

Day 1: Make Contact

Day 2: Ask a Big Question

Day 3: Say Thank You

Day 4: Give a Real Compliment 

Day 5: Ask for What You Need

Day 6: Reach Out and Touch 

Day 7: Declare a Date Night (Note 1)

This summary may make you  feel a variety of things - for some it may be hope - here  is a good plan - we could do that! For others you may feel like those topics even feel difficult or even painful to think about. For others you may feel stuck - you want to try something like this, but it feels hard to imagine starting. 

You are not meant to walk alone. We are here to help.

If you and your partner are wanting to explore your relationship and work through things to help you get unstuck, we are available if you are looking for support. 

Note

1. This summary is based on the chapter outline in the book The love Prescription: Seven Days to More Intimacy, Joy and Connection by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman