Beginning the year turning towards your mental health
I’ve noticed that the beginning of a new year often carries more weight than we expect. There’s an unspoken pressure to be better, healthier, more disciplined, more resolved. Even when we don’t consciously buy into it, that pressure can linger in the background—quietly shaping how we relate to ourselves.
But I wonder if the new year doesn’t need more resolve. I wonder if it needs more gentleness.
Rather than asking, “What do I need to fix about myself this year?” I find it more grounding to ask, “What has been carrying too much, for too long?”
Mental Health Is Not a Goal to Achieve
One of the most common misunderstandings about mental health is that it’s something we accomplish. As though wellness is the reward for enough effort, insight, or discipline.
From an attachment-based and trauma-informed lens, many of the patterns we struggle with—anxiety, shutdown, people-pleasing, anger, numbness—are not signs that something is wrong with us. They are signs that something happened to us. They are intelligent responses shaped by our histories, relationships, and nervous systems.
When we begin to see our inner world this way, the work of mental health shifts. It becomes less about self-improvement and more about self-understanding. Less about control, and more about care.
Starting Small Is Not Avoidance—It’s Wisdom
Engaging your mental health doesn’t require a dramatic overhaul of your life. Often, it begins quietly:
Noticing when your body tightens or withdraws
Naming emotions without immediately trying to change them
Letting yourself rest without earning it
Admitting, perhaps for the first time, that you’re tired of carrying things alone
These moments may seem small, but they are deeply meaningful. They signal a shift from pushing through to turning toward.
Therapy as a Place to Be Met, Not Managed
For some, the new year brings a quiet nudge toward therapy. Often accompanied by doubt: Is my situation bad enough? Am I overreacting? Will this actually help?
Those questions make sense—especially if you learned early on that your needs were inconvenient, minimized, or unmet.
Therapy is not about fixing what’s broken. It’s about creating a space where your story can be held with care and curiosity. A trauma-informed approach recognizes that safety and trust come before change, and that growth happens in relationship—not in isolation.
Sometimes the most significant outcome of therapy isn’t a dramatic breakthrough, but a subtle one: a little less self-criticism, a little more clarity, and a growing sense that you don’t have to do this alone.
Mental health doesn’t follow the calendar. But the turning of the year can offer a moment to pause—to choose presence over pressure, and engagement over avoidance.
Perhaps you are thinking of engaging with a book this year to engage in your mental health.
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff is a grounded, research-based invitation to relate to yourself with the same care you might offer someone you love.
Notes
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash
Resources on Self Compassion:
Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
Strong Like Water by Aundi Kolber