Exploring Couples Therapy

How bad do things need to be before a couple reaches out to book a session with a therapist? It can be hard to know when and how to get help. What warrants inviting a third person to support your relationship in such a formal way? Many people struggle for a long time, feeling lonely, frustrated, anxious and stuck in their closest relationships before reaching out for therapeutic support. Many wait until a crisis moment pushes unconscious dynamics up to the surface in such a dramatic way that they are undeniable. The impulse to keep working on things on your own makes sense, and barriers of time and finances are also understandable limits that might make therapy unattainable. Additional factors like abuse of any kind might make seeking support more complex, as the priority in these cases is maintaining safety first.

Truthfully, there are many ways to work on a relationship, and couples therapy is just one way. Regardless of what form support occurs, however, the unanimous word from those who work with couples, about the majority of couples, is: sooner is better. The sooner something is addressed, the sooner dynamics can be explored,understood and hopefully healed. Living in a state of disconnection can hurt both people and impact intimacy over the long run.

In the same way that it is never too soon to prioritize one’s individual growth and there is no problem too small to warrant giving yourself the gift of support; any issue in a relationship is valid to bring to couples therapy. Any struggle at any stage can be worked on, but bringing something to the table sooner can open the doors to repair and growth in the relationship before patterns become entrenched and challenging emotions and beliefs buildup on both sides. In the same way that a vehicle needs regular oil changes and repairs, a relationship can benefit from check-ins and periodic opportunities to address issues and reconnect, so both partners are aligned and moving in the same direction again.

There are different approaches to couples therapy; in a free consultation, asking how your therapist will approach sessions can build confidence and help you understand the process, as well as sense whether this person might be a support to you and your relationship. Like all growth oriented work, couples therapy takes courage.But although it can be hard, when it’s good, it’s really worth it.

Notes

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