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The gift of validation

By David McCallum

seasons

Enjoying Life Grief internal family systems mental health Relationships trauma holidays self compassion

Posted: December 1, 2024

The Gift of Validation What are you noticing within your system as we approach the holiday season? Perhaps there is some anticipation of extended time and space to more intentionally relax and connect with loved ones. There may also be some trepidation about what those relational dynamics may look and feel like. Grief in its many forms can manifest as well. Whatever you notice, before, during and after the season, know that all of it is welcome. You do not have to feel a certain way around the holidays, even though there may be expectations (familial and societal) to do so. You have a choice.

Helping Parts to Heal from Acute Trauma

By David McCallum

Trauma

connection Enjoying Life mental health internal family systems ptsd EMDR

Posted: November 1, 2024

When approaching trauma, it is important to understand that there are different types that require different treatments. Traumas must be addressed according to their specific needs. In your lifetime, you may have experienced what is called a single incident or acute trauma. Examples of these include car accidents, assault, sudden death of loved ones and acute medical illness. If this is the case, take a moment to recall some of the symptoms that were cued within you amidst that time.

Unburdening: Healing Trauma through IFS

By David McCallum

Trauma

internal family systems shame stigma

Posted: September 30, 2024

Trauma can be understood as a relational violation – or, put another way - a violation of connection (Frank Anderson). Seen through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS), trauma creates a chasm between our Core Self and parts of our psyche. These parts come into being at the origin of a relational violation/violation of connection. Many of them are protective and try to mitigate - in proactive and reactive ways - the pain that is held by deeper exiled parts in our systems. In this sense, parts can be viewed as adaptive vs. defective and bad. Such a non-stigmatizing approach can help parts soften (i.e. turn down in intensity), and release the burdens (e.g. shamefulness) that they carry as a result of trauma.

The Wilds of Grief

By David McCallum

grief

loss

Posted: August 27, 2024

Sometimes we may think we understand things. But that is the operative word: think. We can read all the books and articles and listen to podcasts and lectures and attend workshops and trainings, but it will still fall short of lived experience. This is the case with grief. Until you have actually experienced a loss, you likely will not fully understand the holistic impact that grief can have on one’s life.

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